What I want

For the Friday Challenge 12/11/09 - write a letter to Santa

Voice 1
Do your best.
I try so hard.
Not good enough.
I bury my heart.

I want to be loved.
You don’t deserve it.
What do I deserve?
To be punished.

Voice 2
Come to me and I will take away all your pain and give you pleasure.
Here I am.
Eat. Drink. Rebel.
It tastes so good. No more trying.

The pain is back. The pleasure is gone.
Eat more. Drink more. Rebel harder.
It hurts more. You lie. I am going.
Too late. I have you now.

Voice 3
Come to me and receive my love.
I am imprisoned.
Ask me to free you.
Free me. Rescue me. Deliver me.

I want to be loved.
I love you.
I want to be enjoyed.
I enjoy you. I treasure you. I sing over you.

Do my will.
I am not good enough.
Your strength is not needed. Use mine.
Hold my hand. Don’t let me fall.

It hurts. I want to eat. I want to drink. That used to take the pain away.
Your suffering now will be for your good later. If you don’t eat. If you don’t drink.
Will you take away all my pain?
One day pain will have no more purpose. I will wipe away your tears with my own hand.
Will you punish me?
I took all your punishment.
Will you give me pleasure?
You were created for pleasure. You will find pleasure in me and in all creation.
Will I accomplish something good?
I will accomplish great glory through you.

I accept.

Inspired by Green by Ted Dekker. Voice 2 is the vampire Marsuve.